Backward Rain

  Sat. - Oct. 26, 2002


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October 26, 2002  - Saturday

 The Small Stuff

Maybe itís all the sugar and chili I ate yesterday but I was feeling restless and impatient today. More likely I was feeling a little stress from the backlog of work I wanted to get done.

Lifeís everyday frustrations are what I was dealing with. It's the small stuff that I tend to sweat. I live in the sticks by choice however you wonít find cable modems or high speed internet access here. I do have two phone lines for dial up access and Iím grateful for that. Theyíre not completely reliable however and for the last two days the signal quality was so bad on one line that I couldnít connect with my web server. I spend a lot of time on line maintaining websites and doing some volunteer editing for the ODP. Having one of the phone lines down was just enough to put me on edge. I need the weekend to do catch up and these complications were slowing the process. Looks like the line is back up so Iím off and running tonight.

We got one tenth of an inch of rain today which helped with some calibration Iím doing on my weather station. Iíve been fine tuning the settings and Iím really pleased with the accuracy on the rain gage. Unfortunately one tenth of an inch of rain does nothing to alleviate the drought. Maybe the dieing trees were able to soak up some of the water through their leaves but they certainly didnít get any through their roots. The ground was hardly wet.

Cath in Rain

May 6, 1966 - Friday

This trip to Japan must really have shaken me up inside even more than I realize. Iím not really afraid any longer because Iíve gotten used to the idea of moving but something deep down inside seems to be bothering me.
For instance the first night after I found out I was going I had a terrible dream. At first I was asleep and the next moment I was in my motherís room telling her that she had forgotten to give somebody, I donít know who, his insulin. I was deathly afraid because I knew whoever it was would die without his shot. Finally mother convinced me that it was a bad dream and I went back to bed.

Lately Iíve found it very hard to sleep and this reflects on my physical characteristics. Iím always tired and run down and my face is a little broken out. I guess this isnít too unusual, after al anybody would be a little nervous when theyíre moving to another country.

Other things that are happening are that I find it harder to talk. When I can think of something to say I have to talk slower or Iíll mix my words up. I could be imagining everything, maybe Iíve been this way all along.

One thing about the dream I forgot to tell you. I know it is connected to Pat in some way because he has diabetes and has to take insulin. I ought to have a psychoanalyst analyze it and see what he says.

Tomorrow Iím going to finally try out my skin diving equipment. It should be a good day but if the beach is crummy as usual, Iíll have to find somewhere else to try.

Iíve got a splitting head ach and besides its 11:30 at night.

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