October 15, 2002 - Tuesday
My first entry and the pressure is on. This stress is
just what I need in my life. Actually, compared to the average person, I
live a very low stress life style. I suppose it would be more accurate to
say that I suffer from a low stress threshold. I'm not bragging and this
isn't a whining confession on the Oprah show. It's just a fact and I have
a psychiatrist to back me up on the claim. I'm not proud of being neurotic
but like Woody Alan, I tend to revel in the affliction. "Everyone needs a
hobby." (I think he said that about masturbation but what the heck.)
So far, today was the high point of my week. We'll call
it, The OPO (Open Purchase Order), Ida to Rob, "You Screwed Up",
controversy. Thereís really not a whole lot to say about it. Anyone who
reads Dilbert would recognize this type of encounter. Over worked, easily
annoyed accountant gets Rob in her office and says, ďI personally put the
memo in your box!Ē ďPurchasing will be pissed off!Ē ďAdmit that you
screwed up and Iíll stop frowning at you!Ē
I wonít go into much detail as the experience was bad
enough the first time. Since I can usually see what the outcome will be
before we start these meetings, I like to expedite the process and get to
the predestined end as soon as possible. To keep things moving I said I
must have misplaced the memo (the one I didnít get). The frowning stopped.
These meetings are often about who can argue the best or
who has the "home turf advantage". Truth has little to do with the
outcome. Kind of like the legal system.
1966 Ė Sunday
I want to make one thing clear, this isnít
a diary. I plan to write down my thoughts every once in a while and
compare notes later on. First of all I will keep nothing back. I donít
plan on having anyone else read these notes but me.
I guess some people would think it silly to do this but after reading
The Diary of Anne Frank, I think otherwise.
I have always liked to write and I seem to be the quiet type of person who
doesnít express his thoughts very much. (When I do, it doesnít come out
right anyway). As I write this I feel more sure of myself as I go along.
At home Iím afraid to talk because someone is always there to correct me.
Now I can write without having to feel that I must spell correctly or I
can give ideas without having to worry about people thinking my ideas are
stupid. Some people would call this an easy way out but if I donít do
this, Iíll never say anything anyway. (You must think Iím crazy at this
Considering the fact that this isnít just one of my passing phases, fads
or otherwise, you should learn more about me as time goes on. (I donít
think it is)
After reading the book (Anne Frank), I discovered that she was able to
improve herself by looking back through her papers. Being a person who is
in great dire need of improvement, I hope this will help me.
As I write this I will say ďYouĒ referring to myself or whoever reads
this. I hope nobody does, at least not while Iím alive. It could be
embarrassing for both of us.
First I will describe myself as a general person. Iím certainly not smart
(you can tell by my spelling) but then I like to think Iím not dumb. After
experiences with certain friends, I feel sure of this. I usually creep by
with a ďCĒ average. I hope I improve. As you know, I am the quiet type. I
have a normal amount of friends. None girls (I donít know if Iím happy or
sad about that).
Opps!! I forgot to tell you my name is Robert Horne! I am 16 & Ĺ years
old. Not ugly and not handsome. For the last few months (since Christmas)
I have been interested in skin diving. I like aquariums, some sports and I
wish to heck summer was here. Iím not very sociable. I donít go to dances
(Iím glad to say). I love a good movie and I like to be alone a lot. If I
keep this up Iíll go on for ever. The first thing I plan to do is to find
a notebook and a good place somewhere in the room. My friends are always
looking around and they might find it.
Well I guess Iíll stop now. Motherís sort of mad cause I keep my room door
shut all the time. She doesnít think much of privacy. I have a lot more to
write but if I stick to my goal and keep writing, there wonít be any
problems. Iíll probably never run out of material.