September 12, 1968 - Thursday
The summer is over now.
College starts on Monday and as usual I've been quite depressed. I
guess because I'm afraid of going back to school. All my friends are
gone, even Ron is moving, and going to Mesa College will be just like
starting over again. I don't want to go but if I don't, it means the
I haven't been writing
because I'm too lazy.
The trip Ron and I took
lasted just over a week. We rented a tent and went to Big Bear for a
few days then drove though the desert into Arizona and came back on highway
8 from Yuma. It wasn't quite the adventure I was hoping for and in Big
Bear we spent a lot of time in the tent listening to the rain. The desert
was more interesting but so hot that I spent most of my time wondering when
the car would over heat and leave us stranded.
The rest of the summer has
been spent loafing and occasionally working. I wasn't planning on working as
much as I did but people kept quitting and Doctor Smith begged me to come
back. He seems to like me and says I would make a good officer in the
military. If he only new.
Marlene sold me some pot in
July and it was $10 for a plastic sandwich bag. She came to the house to
drop it off and I ended up paying her mostly with quarters. When she was
sticking the change in her pocket she said she felt like a two bit whore.
Pretty funny. When she handed over the bag she actually stuffed it in
my pants like she was showing me how to hide it. She dropped a lot of hints
that she wanted me to come by her house that night but I chickened out.
Mother and father went to a
party and I did smoke some pot that night in my room. At first I felt
nothing and didn't think anything was happening until later when I was
listening to records. I suddenly realized that the music had changed.
All the records I've been listening to suddenly took on new meaning and the
lyrics that sounded so silly before suddenly made sense. My Jimi
Hendrix and Jefferson Airplane albums where like I had never heard them
before. It dawned on me that that most of the songs had to do with drugs.
Ron said he was pretty
freaked out that I had smoked pot and thought I was becoming a drug addict.
Later in the summer he finally tried some and darned if he didn't like it.
Actually, that's become sort of a problem now because he likes it a little
too much. He started smoking it in the morning before work and I'm afraid
he's getting too reckless.
Marlene also showed me how to
grow plants from the seed and I'm thinking about growing my own. May
have to wait for the spring for that.
Well, like I said, college
starts next week and I'm really feeling a little nervous about that. I have
to admit that my attitude isn't the best. I have no idea what I want
to study and I don't plan on even declaring a major. At first I'll
just be taking classes that they make everybody take.