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  April 17, 2003


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Thursday - April 17, 2003


I can usually manage the necessary will power to eventually get down to a reasonable weight. My last excursion into the world of dieting lasted about 6 months. I lost about 30 lbs but now the weight is creeping back. The problem with being on a diet is that Iím always hungry. (Duh) The thing is, itís a constant, 24 hr, non-stop feeling that dominates my thoughts during every waking moment. Actually, the last time, I even started dreaming about food. No matter what anyone says, for me, life just becomes less fun when Iím on a diet.

And then thereís the exercise. Oh no, it isnít enough that I have to be hungry all the time. No, no, thatís only part of the torture. You canít just stop eating. Youíve got to do that aerobic exercise thing for at least 20 minutes every day or the regimen isnít complete (according to my doctor). Yep. I get up at 4 A.M., drive 2 hours a day, walk all over campus, get home around 5:30 P.M. and the first thing I want to do when I walk through the door is 20 minutes on the rowing machine.

My favorite foods are malted milk balls, Skittles, ice cream, chips, chili, spaghetti, pizza, and every bread product under the sun. Itís amazing that I donít weigh 300 lbs instead of 190! And thatís another thing. The weight charts! What a bogus bunch of crap those things are. According to the chart my doctor uses, with my size (medium bone) and height (5í 10Ē), I can weigh anywhere between 154 and 182. My ideal weight is 157! Come on! I suspect the companies that sell weight loss products also put out those charts!

The other day a co-worker said he had the answer to all my problems. Itís called the ďAtkins dietĒ and you can eat all the greasy, fatty foods you want as long as they donít contain many carbohydrates. Yep, that should work. UmmÖ did I mention that my favorite foods are malted milk balls, Skittles, ice cream, chips, chili, spaghetti, pizza, and every bread product under the sun?

Iíve been reading ďZen and the Art of Motorcycle MaintenanceĒ and at one point the author discusses ďthe purpose of lifeĒ. He suggests that for some, the purpose of life is just living. Iím only half way through the book but Iím sure that eventually heíll also mention the importance of malted milk balls, Skittles, ice cream, chips, chili, spaghetti, pizza, and every bread product under the sun.

Dang! Iím starving!



January 25, 1967 Ė Wednesday

Last night I went to the oceanography explorer meeting and it was just what I hoped for. In this club I will be able to learn about every aspect of oceanography. It really makes a difference to go to a meeting where Iím interested in the subject. This brings up the problem that caused some disturbance here today.

I told my parents my feelings on the Civil Air Patrol and everybody turned against me. Mother says itís a great opportunity that I canít pass up. I say why bother if Iím not interested. We had a big fight and the answer is I stay with both clubs.

After my escapade with mother, Barry called up and she started telling him what a messed up kid I am. According to her I never bring any problems to her, I donít show any interest in anything, I sit in my room staring into space and I donít have any goals. I knew I was a messed up kid but now I feel like I ought to run to the nearest nut house and enroll for life.

As for not telling her my problems I thought every parent realized kids canít discuss certain things with their parents. I also know my mother's not really interested in the social problems I have at school. Even if she was, thereís not a thing in the world to do about it.

Anyway, now Barry wants to come over tomorrow to have a talk with me. Everybodyís worried that I donít know what I want in life. Theyíre all surrounding me giving suggestions when I think I know the answers already. I know mother thinks I have no interests because I donít show any great enthusiasm in anything. I realize Iím not the most enthusiastic person in the world but Iíve always had that problem.

Above all, I still hold the opinion that nobody is interested in anyone else. Nothing bores a person more than some friend or relative blathering on about some hobby or interest. I can tell no one is really interested in what I have to say. I can see it in their eyes.



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