April 25, 2004 - Sunday
Days of Future Past
I've been taking a break from dumpster duty.
I'm covered with bruises and all the heavy lifting is taking a toll on my
I went into Coronado on Thursday to pick up
some more of my dad's stuff and visit the house. It's on the market
and we've already received an offer at our asking price. The house is
in pretty poor condition but the location can't be beat. Since we
moved there in the early sixties, Coronado has evolved into a resort
community and my dad's house is in a prime location. Two blocks from
the beach in a neighborhood where the wealthy come to hang out. If I
were into social climbing I suppose I would want to live there myself but I
never felt comfortable with the "Country Club" crowd. Actually, I've never
felt comfortable in any crowd which is one reason I've ended up living
in the sticks.
This brings up an issue that's been on my
mind about my 60's journal . It's entering a time when I had to face
emotional problems that I've been dealing with ever since. Clinical
shyness that went beyond mere bashfulness and even entered periods of
agoraphobic isolation. It was about a 15 year period that involved
some drinking and drug use and they certainly weren't my finest moments.
Nothing earth shattering, just unflattering times that make me cringe. The
entries become erratic and I went some months without entering anything at
all. I've considered ending this thing here but like I've said before,
everyone needs a hobby. I guess I'm just trying to prepare some of my
regular readers for future writings that are self-absorbed ramblings
from a guy who really would have benefited from psychotherapy. Unfortunately
I was too shy to do that until 1985.
8, 1968 Ė Wednesday
I cut school last Thursday and
Friday. With Monday a day off, I really had a vacation. Iíve been driving
all over San Diego with Bill checking out the local JCís. Actually Bill is
wavering about going to college. We had planned on attending Mesa College
together but now heís talking about joining the army. Heís been talking with
a recruiter who told him if he volunteers, he wonít have to go to Viet Nam.
Theyíll probably send him to Germany instead. I guess if you let yourself
get drafted the chances youíll go to Viet Nam are pretty much assured.
Iím really becoming opposed to the war and itís not just because I donít
want to go to Viet Nam. Some high level politicians are coming out against
it and I especially like what Iím hearing from Eugene McCarthy. Actually,
the war in Viet Nam has the greatest influence on how my future will unfold.
I only have two choices when I graduate. Go to college or be drafted and go
to Viet Nam.
Considering how I feel about the
military and my experiences with the Civil Air Patrol, I donít think I can
survive being in the army. Iím certainly not going to enlist like Bill. Even
if they sent me to Germany, army life would drive me insane.
Iíve been playing the album ďDays of Future PastĒ by the Moody Blues. Iím
going to wear it out, I play it so much.
Catherine fighting the flood two weeks ago