Backward Rain

  April 25, 2004

 

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April 25, 2004 - Sunday

Days of Future Past

I've been taking a break from dumpster duty. I'm covered with bruises and all the heavy lifting is taking a toll on my elbows.

I went into Coronado on Thursday to pick up some more of my dad's stuff and visit the house.  It's on the market and we've already received an offer at our asking price.  The house is in pretty poor condition but the location can't be beat.  Since we moved there in the early sixties, Coronado has evolved into a resort community and my dad's house is in a prime location.  Two blocks from the beach in a neighborhood where the wealthy come to hang out.  If I were into social climbing I suppose I would want to live there myself but I never felt comfortable with the "Country Club" crowd. Actually, I've never felt comfortable in any  crowd which is one reason I've ended up living in the sticks.

This brings up an issue that's been on my mind about my 60's journal .  It's entering a time when I had to face emotional problems that I've been dealing with ever since.  Clinical shyness that went beyond mere bashfulness and even entered periods of agoraphobic isolation. It was  about a 15 year period that involved some drinking and drug use and they certainly weren't my finest moments. Nothing earth shattering, just unflattering times that make me cringe. The entries become erratic and I went some months without entering anything at all. I've considered ending this thing here but like I've said before, everyone needs a hobby.  I guess I'm just trying to prepare some of my regular readers for  future writings that are self-absorbed ramblings from a guy who really would have benefited from psychotherapy. Unfortunately I was too shy to do that until 1985. 

 

THEN

May 8, 1968 Ė Wednesday

I cut school last Thursday and Friday. With Monday a day off, I really had a vacation. Iíve been driving all over San Diego with Bill checking out the local JCís. Actually Bill is wavering about going to college. We had planned on attending Mesa College together but now heís talking about joining the army. Heís been talking with a recruiter who told him if he volunteers, he wonít have to go to Viet Nam. Theyíll probably send him to Germany instead. I guess if you let yourself get drafted the chances youíll go to Viet Nam are pretty much assured.

Iím really becoming opposed to the war and itís not just because I donít want to go to Viet Nam. Some high level politicians are coming out against it and I especially like what Iím hearing from Eugene McCarthy. Actually, the war in Viet Nam has the greatest influence on how my future will unfold. I only have two choices when I graduate. Go to college or be drafted and go to Viet Nam.

Considering how I feel about the military and my experiences with the Civil Air Patrol, I donít think I can survive being in the army. Iím certainly not going to enlist like Bill. Even if they sent me to Germany, army life would drive me insane.

Iíve been playing the album ďDays of Future PastĒ by the Moody Blues. Iím going to wear it out, I play it so much
.

_____


Catherine fighting the flood two weeks ago

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